I Want to Know Your Heart

Sometimes I think life would be so much easier if I could just know where I'm headed on this journey of life. I mean, I have an idea, but it's a foggy path. Like walking on stepping stones, but I can only see the next step ahead of me. Sometimes I wish God would just tell me what my life is going to be like down the road... now. Sometimes I wish he would reveal the next three steps, instead of just one!

It's Kind of that idea of microwaveable faith. Just throw it in the microwave, and BAM! Finished! Matured! Perfect! Of course in reality, I know I don't really want this. Much like microwavable food! I mean, if I had a choice between a home-cooked meal and a hot pocket, I'm going to choose the roasted chicken and mashed potatoes!

But here's the thing... I'm impatient! 

There's that word, we all dread "Patience". 

Growing up in church, the joke was always "Don't pray for patience...because that is exactly what God will give you! Pray for patience and by golly, you'll get it!" Well, I'm here to tell you, it's the truth! And as much as waiting is not fun, It's a part of life!

I was reading Psalm 37 today and God really spoke to me and showed me what this whole waiting thing really means. Here's a few short verses, that I think sums it up. 

{Psalm 37:5}

"Commit your way to the Lord; 

trust him, and he will act"

 {Psalm 37:7}

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;

fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way.

over the man who carries out evil devices!"

{Psalm 37:23}

"The steps of a man are established by the Lord. 

When he delights in his way."

In this passage I see two really important things. First, "Commit your way to the Lord". Make your aim to glorify God in all you do. In work, in school, in relationships, do them for God, how God would. The reciprocal of doing so, is that God will show you, lead you, and act. When you commit your way to God (v. 5) and delight in his ways (v. 23), he lead you on his path. Second, "wait patiently for him." This is the hard part.

When we think about waiting, we often envision "sitting,waiting and wishing", but God's idea of waiting isn't a lot different from Jack Johnson's. In the Bible, the Hebrew word used for wait is: "qâvâh", which means to hope expectantly. This waiting is not an act of passivity! It's taking this season, seeking God, serving God and waiting in expectant hope! Knowing that God is in control, and He alone establishes our steps.

I would like to point out that in this waiting don't compare yourself to others. Don't envy the friend getting married, graduating college or getting the promotion. We have such a tendency to do that as humans. I do it. And I think if we would fix our eyes on God a little more often, instead of ourselves we would be so much better off. Because if  we did, we would see that we are made for much better things than to sit around and compare. Comparison kills contentment. It's so important to remember that God has us exactly where we are supposed to be at this time, for a greater purpose.

For me, this time of waiting is a reoccurring season of my life, but God's showing me this is a time to press into him, to seek him and to simply spend time with him. He's reminding me that he is my portion. And I hunger to know Him more.

This song has been sweet medicine to my soul for the last couple weeks. 

If you're in a waiting season or simply just seeking to know God more,

 I would encourage you to take five minutes and soak it in.

Fully His,
   
     Cassie

Gratitude Lately

Gratitude is a deep appreciation of kindness or benefits received.

But it's much more than that. 

It's the posture of our heart. 

It's recognizing and remembering all of those small everyday blessings 

that God so abundantly pours out on us. 

It truly is the simple things that make life so great.

These are just a few things that I've been grateful for lately:

Sunny Arizona Days in February

Study Sessions in the Sun

Lattes and Conversations with Wonderful Friends

What have you been grateful for lately?

Eunoia:

Over the last week God has been really working in my heart. Renewing me, and drawing me back in closer to Him. It never ceases to amaze me how God seeks us. He wants us. He pursues us. He chooses us. Ephesians 1:4-5 says that "He chose us before the foundation of the world". That's pretty amazing! I mean, take a second and think about that. The God, who created the entire world in 7 days, desires to have a relationship with us. With you... with me. He doesn't need us. Not even in the tiniest way. We don't complete Him, we don't make Him better. He's completely, fully, God. Period. And He desires to know us. wow. 

But I think often that's where we stop. We love that He loves us. I mean, I love that He loves me! And I love Him! But it's not about us. The Gospel was never about us.

Growing up in the "Christian culture", I've asked myself so many times, "what is God's plan for my life?"  And Now, I go to a Christian college, where a lot of other Christians ask themselves, their friends, and their mentors, "what is God's plan for my life?" Rightfully so. We're at the brink of life. We "Have our whole lives ahead of us". We want to find our purpose. We want to be successful. And we want to get it right the first time, darn it! So of course we ask this question! 

But I think we're getting it all wrong. We're making it about us. Not Him. John 3:30 says "He must become greater and I must become less." So, I think the real question here is, "What is God's plan, and how can I be a part of it?" Obviously we can't know everything. God doesn't just give us a map and say, turn here, stop here, go to school here and get married here. But there's a thing called trust. When we trust God, He shows us how He can use us. Henry and Richard Blackaby, and Claude King explain this so well, in their study,"Experiencing God". Here's what it says: "God never asks people to dream up something to do for Him. We do not sit down and dream what we want to do for God and then call God in to help us accomplish it. The pattern in scripture is that we submit ourselves to God. Then we wait until God shows us what He is about to do, or we watch to see what God is already doing around us and join Him." I don't know about you, but I would much rather have God directing my path, than myself. I'm horrible at directions. And I think God is far more creative than I am. I mean, He created the mountains and the oceans ... and everything in between!

I am amazed and incredibly blessed to look back on my life and see what God has invited me to be a part of in His grand plan. I've spent a summer doing ministry in Hungary, I've helped build houses in Mexico, I've been able to be a part of ministry in my home church, and now He has me at an great school, learning amazing things and learning so much more about life and the world we live in. And these are just highlights! Four years ago, I would have never imagined my life would look like it does today. I would have never fathomed that my heart would be where it is in ministry. It's so crazy how God uses you when you allow Him to. 

So how about you? How is God at work around you? How can you be part of God's plan? He's inviting you in!

Cultivate.

New years resolutions never really work for me. They last for a week (if I'm lucky) and soon enough fade away because "there's just so many more important things to focus on". In hopes for breaking this horrible habit of failed resolutions, for the last three years I have been trying something a little different. I stumbled upon a website called My One Word. The point is basically to choose one word to inspire you and focus on for the upcoming year. I absolutely love it! It's something fun to do at the beginning of the year and has really helped me evaluate what I need to work on in the upcoming year.

This year, my word is Cultivate: to prepare or promote the growth and development of. This idea came to me from a Matt Chandler sermon. He was speaking about how so often we seek all kinds of things and put our hope in fleeting things, when we really should be putting our hope in God and and growing in Him. He said "Cultivate your mind. Cultivate your soul. And put your hope in Christ."  I really love that idea, and even though it is so basic, it is something we forget too often. 2 peter 3:18 says this: "But grow in the grace of knowledge of our Lord." This year I want to really focus on cultivating a healthy relationship with Christ and the people who I am surrounded by.

As I was reading a blog by Matt Chandler today, I came across two questions that I think would be beneficial for anyone who is wanting to grow in their relationship with Christ. The first is "what stirs my affections for christ?" What for me creates a passion or hunger for Christ and His mission? For me it is:
1. Starting my day with coffee and a quiet time with God.
2. Listening to anything by Hillsong or Bethel church.
3. The book of 1 Corinthians
4. Sermons and writings from Matt Chandler
5. Experiencing God devotional
6. Being surrounded by loving friends & family 

And the second, "what robs my affection for Christ?" What creates in me an unhealthy love for this world? It doesn't mean they are inherently bad things, it just means they are robbing my zeal for Christ. For me, these things are:
1. Staying up late for no reason.
2. Spending too much time on social networks ( Facebook, pinterest...etc.)
3. Watching too much tv.
4. Laziness.
5. Procrastination.

For me, asking myself these questions is a heart check. It helps me see where my heart posture is, and where it needs to be. So how about you? What is, stirring your affections for Christ? And what is robbing your affections for Christ?

A Transformation

 School is coming so fast! I can't believe it! In less than a month I will be in a different state with a completely different life. To say that this doesn't scare me would be an horrible lie. This is the biggest change I have ever made in my life. This is literally a leap of faith! There are times when I thought I was taking a "leap" before: going to Hungary, moving out on my own, but those things seem to pail in comparison to this journey I'm about to embark on! In a way, I feel that this fear is a healthy fear. It would be weird not to be anxious about a complete life change. I read a quote last week that read: "Making a big life change is pretty scary. But, you know what's even scarier? Regrets." I don't know who wrote it, but isn't it so true! Change is scary, even when its good! But it sure is hard to avoid it. Life changes constantly. We are growing constantly. There are stages of life, child, teenager, young adult, adult... While every stage is different for each person, we all still have to change at some point. And it seems as if the people who aren't changing are the ones who seem to be living in the most regret.
    Change and I seem to have this love/ hate relationship, I love change because it means growth, but I hate it because it's uncomfortable. Change makes me realize that I'm not in control, and although I know it's the truth, I don't always like it. It reminds me that God truly is sovereign. Change reminds me of Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." God truly does have a plan for our lives and most of the time it's not what we have planned. He even tells us this in Proverbs 16:9, "The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps."
    As much as  I know these truths in my head, sometimes my heart doesn't coincide. Over the last few months I have been battling myself, so overwhelmed by change and the list of things to do that I have just shut down. My emotions, my actions and even my physical health. I have put myself in a place of just existing , not having passion for anything really. In the last month have have come to realize the place that I have slipped into and I am not ok with it! I am in a pit. This last Sunday my pastor gave a sermon about transformation. Our purpose is all about transformation! look at the disciples, you see them come to their rope, to their human limitations, constantly! And every time God transformed their human limitations into spiritual gifts! Their fear into confidence, fleeing into Endurance, loneliness into fulfillment! 
    All this time I have been so distracted on everything else, the unknown, the worry, the fear, that I haven't been focusing on God!  There is a hymn that sings, "turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace." What I really need to do is fix my eyes on Jesus. He has the answer! He knows the way! He is in control! 

A New Adventure

   Over the last couple weeks I've been thinking a lot about where I am, or where God has put me in life, right at this moment. I am in the middle of prepping to go to school in Arizona. Can I just say that again? I am prepping to go to school in Arizona!!! I truly can't believe it! I would have never guessed that this is where God was going to have me.  In fact, I used to say, "I will never move to Arizona...unless God really really wants me to". Haha! I'm telling you, be careful what you say!
   But honestly, it's truly amazing to see what God does with your life when you allow Him to take control! Ephesians 3:20-21a in the message Bible says: "God can do anything, you know-Far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it by not pushing us around but by working within us, His spirit deeply and gently within us."  This is so true! Some of the things God does in my life just blow my mind! I look back on the last three years of my life and literally stand dumbfounded by how He has moved in my life and how He has moved me, chiseled me and molded me. The opportunities He has given me and the doors He has opened for me are unbelievable! Things like serving on staff for the high school group at my church, being on the worship team, going to Hungary and Mexico, moving out and receiving my car! It hasn't always been easy, there has been some really hard, lonely times, but He has never left me. Hebrews 6:19 says, "We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain." I can personally attest to this scripture, because it is so evident in my life.
 

    My new adventure to Arizona has been a fast process yet a long process all at the same time. There's been a lot of ups and downs. It's crazy to even look back on the last few months, to see the beginning of this journey and to see where I am now, less than two months away from leaving. I am SO excited for this journey! To go to school, experience college, a new city, a new state, new people! It's all so exciting! So many opportunities! But I have to be honest, I'm really nervous too, maybe even a little scared. In a way, I'm ok with these feelings though. I mean, would it be normal not to feel this way? I am leaving everything that I am familiar with: my job, my home, my family, friends, my life... to go to everything that I am unfamiliar with: college, a dorm, a new state, new friends, and a new life. While this is all scary, it's also the best thing about it! Last year when I returned from Hungary, I started praying this prayer: God change me constantly, let me me not be comfortable, keep me uncomfortable because it is the scariest, yet most amazing feeling I've ever experienced, and I love it! Lord, move me when I don't want to be. Whatever you do, don't let me be the same. Let my life glorify you." I may not pray it as often as I did, I still mean it. I want to live my life in the death zone! To live in the dangerous wonder of knowing God And I am so excited to see what God has in store for me next!

.... "what's next Papa?"

Adventurously Expectant

One year ago I went in an amazing adventure to Hungary. It was my first mission trip, and where I found my heart for missions. I can’t believe it’s been a year already! So many things have happened, and my life has changed so much! I’ve learned a lot about myself, a lot about my Abba, and a lot about life. In the last year I’ve had the privilege to go on another mission trip, to Mexico, and now soon will be taking a crazy journey to Arizona to go to school! As much as my heart aches to be in Hungary, I know this is where God has me right now. And I’m excited for this new adventure! Nervous and a little anxious, but super excited! Maybe God will take me back to Hungary one day. But for know, I am here. And I know I have many miles and many places ahead of me. I’m learning to live life adventurously expectant! To live life in the dangerous wonder of knowing God! And I’m loving it!
” God’s spirit beckons. There are things to do and places to go! This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “what’s next Papa?” -Romans 8:14-15 MSG